Incident 1
You are waiting for your friends, walking up & down the mall….
They message saying 5mins…
And then you see them walking towards you, you proceed to walk towards them with a big smile, excited to be meeting them after the gap..
You get a quick Hi in… one of them bursts out “Oh wow, you have lost a lot of weight di”, the other nods her head and agree…you smile and say “Oh please, nothing of that sort” followed by Hugs and hi hellows yelled out as you start walking towards the coffee shop to sit down & catch up..
Incident 2
This girl is walking down the street towards home, when she passes by a bunch of stores, including the salon she visits. A salon staff steps out, smiles at the girl and comments ” Oh hi, you look lovelier than usual and have lost oodles of weight.. what are you doing? “
The girl smiles back, “thanks, nothing major, just eating home food and being happy.. See you?”
Incident 3
Two girls meet up, and here is a bit of the conversation….
Girl 1 [G1] – Hey G2, how are you doing, hows the little one… and btw, you look like you have lost some weight…
Girl 2 [G2]- Thanks.. really? Dont feel it though and *sends a glance to the husband*[hasnt said anything… :P]
G1 – well, it shows..
Few hours later, G2- yes you are right.. I do think I have lost some weight.. Though I am not doing anything.. You atleast walk & do yoga, I dont do nothing….
G1- Well, i have realised our body/health gets better when there is peace of mind.. I mean it.. I have made peace with the world and don’t let it affect me like it used to and people have been commenting on my appearance left right center..
G2 -hmmm..*smiles* true that…
- What would your reaction have been to any of the above incidents?
- Would you have smiled, grinned and thanked the person for the compliment or shied away and shrugged it off?
I used to belong to the latter kind, who would infact go further and make the person wonder why they even paid the compliment… But things have changed over the years..
Infact these days I don’t mind much if people comment on appearances before anything else.
It doesn’t bother me if someone was to tell me am big, or even if they say things like “Oh but did not expect you to be this tall and big, it is intimidating”.. I just reply “well, this is me… deal with it :-)”
I spent nearly 20years of my life listening to people and their comments, cringing and recoiling.. But then things changed, I started caring zilch about the world and only about what I thought about me…
I noticed that my mood changed, my temper was gone, I was happier and more at peace…
I used to wear frumpy dresses [ frocks as they were called], and salwar that was loose and shapeless, like a pillow case… While it did work in keeping me hidden and letting me bottle up my desires and dreams, but then something snapped…
Have realised that a lot of what we do today is related to conditioning of the mind, especially during our childhood years. I was told I was big and fat by none other than family from an early age, that I needed to cover myself, sit, stand, do only certain things etc… So we grow up with that embedded in our minds and it affects everything that we do and feel.
It takes years of unlearning to get over this, and to change the way you think/react/ look at the world.. I know this as I have spent years on myself, changing everything. Today I walk with my head held high, confident in what I do and say, giving the world the middle finger if it dares comment/criticise without reason… So, while validation and positive comments about my appearance and overall personality are more than welcome, it will not influence my thought process or change the way I do things…
If I do a quick run through starting with my growing years to today, I welcome comments by people – men & women with open mind. When a guy tells me I am sexy, I smile /blush and say Thank you! Having come across many who say that just to flatter you and then get you to say yes to sex, I press the STOP button and tell them to bugger off.. Yes, it does affect the way I react to guys in general, not just me but all of us women.. We tend to wonder “why is he being so nice, what does he want, does he have an ulterior motive”…. even when the guy is being genuine and honest with no motives… 🙂
Sigh…. how times have changed… OK, am gonna stop now… Do tell me how it feels when someone pays you a compliment?
