I had written a post sometime back around periods and how there were hard customs followed at home here. This post is more about the taboos for women in a household.
Growing up in a traditional Brahmin household comes with its fair share of rules, customs, and unspoken expectations. While some of these are steeped in cultural heritage and offer a sense of belonging, others manifest as rigid taboos, dictating behaviour and choices in ways that feel outdated and, at times, stifling.
From waking up late to questioning arbitrary restrictions, these taboos reflect a need to revisit what truly matters in preserving tradition and what needs rethinking. Here’s a closer look at some common taboos and why it’s time for a change.
1. Waking Up Late: The Early Bird Expectation
In a Brahmin household, waking up late is often seen as a sign of laziness and irresponsibility. Early mornings are revered for their spiritual purity—ideal for prayer, meditation, or simply starting the day on a disciplined note.
But what happens when life demands late nights or rest? The pressure to conform to early rising often ignores individual circumstances, be it health, work schedules, or simply the need for more sleep. Productivity isn’t dictated by the time you wake up but by how you spend your waking hours.
2. Tattoos: A Mark of Rebellion?
Tattoos are often frowned upon, viewed as a defilement of the body, which is traditionally considered a sacred vessel. For many, especially women, getting inked is seen as an act of rebellion, challenging societal norms about what is “acceptable” for a Brahmin woman.
But isn’t the body also a canvas for self-expression? A tattoo is personal—it tells a story, captures a memory, or symbolizes individuality. It’s time to move beyond the judgment and see tattoos for what they are: art, not defiance.
3. Sitting and Talking Equally Where Men/Elders Are Around
In many traditional households, women are expected to speak softly, defer to elders, and remain in the background during gatherings, especially if men are present. Sitting and engaging as an equal in such spaces is often considered disrespectful or overly bold.
This subtle silencing reinforces patriarchal norms and limits women’s voices. Conversations should be about mutual respect, regardless of age or gender. A woman’s presence and opinions are just as valuable as anyone else’s in the room.
4. Having Opinions: The Unwritten Rule Against Outspokenness
In some conservative settings, having strong opinions—especially for women—is viewed as confrontational or inappropriate. Whether it’s about family decisions, career choices, or societal norms, voicing one’s thoughts can sometimes lead to subtle reprimands or outright dismissal.
But progress thrives on dialogue and diverse perspectives. Encouraging opinions isn’t about creating conflict; it’s about fostering understanding, challenging outdated norms, and evolving as a community.
5. Visiting for Condolence on Non-Auspicious Days
In Brahmin tradition, Sunday and Thursday are considered auspicious days, and visiting someone to offer condolences on these days is often avoided. This taboo stems from the belief that grief and mourning shouldn’t coincide with days of spiritual positivity.
However, grief doesn’t wait for the “right” day. Offering support and solidarity to someone who has lost a loved one transcends such beliefs. Empathy and kindness should never be limited by superstition.
6. Kitchen During Periods: The Sacred Space Divide
Periods have long been associated with restrictions in the kitchen, rooted in the belief that menstruating women are impure. In many households, they’re barred from cooking or even entering the kitchen during their cycle.
While the original intention might have been to encourage rest, these restrictions have evolved into stigmatizing rules. In a modern context, it’s crucial to normalize menstruation and see it for what it is—a natural biological process, not a mark of impurity.
7. Eating Mavadu [baby mango pickle] on the 4th Day of Period: The Salty Superstition
Mavadu, a traditional mango pickle, is a cherished delicacy in many Brahmin households. Yet, eating it on the fourth day of one’s period is often discouraged, tied to superstitions about salt affecting the body’s balance during menstruation.
While Ayurveda might offer some dietary advice during periods, most modern medical experts agree that such restrictions are unnecessary. Instead of blindly following these taboos, it’s important to understand the reasoning (if any) and make choices based on personal comfort and science.
Rethinking Tradition
Traditions are a cornerstone of culture, but they aren’t infallible. Many taboos in conservative Brahmin households reflect a time and context far removed from today’s realities. By questioning these norms, we aren’t disrespecting heritage but seeking to align it with contemporary values of equality, individuality, and respect.
The Way Forward
- Start Conversations: Address these taboos openly with family members. Sometimes, the silence around them sustains their hold.
- Seek Understanding: Explore the origins of these practices—some may hold valuable lessons, while others may reveal outdated beliefs.
- Adapt and Evolve: Tradition should be a guide, not a chain. Adapting rituals and customs to modern sensibilities ensures their relevance and longevity.
- Respect Individual Choices: Ultimately, it’s about allowing each person to live authentically while honoring their heritage.
Breaking these taboos isn’t about rebellion—it’s about reclaiming the space to live fully and freely. In doing so, we honor not just our traditions but also the spirit of progress and growth.
